Munirah

Sunday, July 17, 2005

I really really really feel like crying now.

i do.

i want to.

i feel like quitting and just start working in a factory or what.

i do.

my prelims are coming in 7 wks and i havent start studying even 1 damn topic. and my GP .. sucks to the max .. really. and my parents really place a lot of hope in me. i can so see that they want me to enter NUS. and mid yr i produce C6 for GP, E, C, D. and i know my dad is dissapointed althought he didnt show that. they want so much for me to succeed. and i want to succeed to. but .. i cant .. i cant even start of revision. goodness. i dont even know the damn elasticity concept by heart and my hmk. i havent even finish that!

and i'm busy with drama. i spent my whole damn satuurday doing drama. calling up ppl, doing admin stuff and my sunday is spend doing the tix, discussing with hafiz bout booklet, the budget stuff .. and what did i get?

i have been settling all the freaking tix. ppl are like constantly asking me bout tix and stuff and i cant get settle on my studies and i get ppl telling me that i'm a bad leader. as if getting to know what my bro has been doing which really make me disappointed and the result that my sis been producing or her behaviour not worrying enuff or my small bro not knowing to do simple mutiplication or the fact that my maternal family is really so damn irresponsible and my grades .. not stress enuff.

i'm not asking ppl to tell me that i'm a good leader or praising me or what .. but, a simple thank you .. for eg, from fengot really touch me knowing that ppl appreciate what i have done.

maybe i am sensitive .. or too sensitive or cant take criticism or whatever. but this is too much for me.

for my o level, i have like already know 3/4 of the topics already.. now is the A LEVEL and i dont even know 1/2 of the topics..

i'm afraid actually ...